right I went awol don’t know how and I don’t know why. College is going great I made a 1920s dress successfully which is a first, I have an interview for my hnd technical theatre on the 19ths. my friend has recently been staying with me. she has a hard time with her step dad and sleeps on sofa bed so she now stays with me. and I’ve decided to be more honest with who I am. my name is Suzanne and I’m 21 years of age, I said in the beginning tell my name but Lorna (bff) Stephen )bf) says I should start vlogging don’t know when that will happen but they says I’m funny. anyways back to Lorna. she has been my friend for 5 months but it feels like a life time. she’s everything you want and need in a best friend. we have a system going and we both put our weight in for the chores. but I’m the chef as Lorna cannot cook ( sorry babe ) ;). she’s also amazing at art ill link her shop below. she is also into magic she has given me readings and she is very accurate. like me Lorna has anxiety and we help each other with this were as before id suffer in silence I no longer have to.
I’m currently at Stephens whilst Lorna’s at mine painting and dealing with a hangover. and probably messaging her Spanish cutie we call him sex god. her one night stand when she went to Spain. she opened up how much she liked him and he feels the same. he on about saving up and moving to Edinburgh to be with her. her tarots did say travel so maybe Spain is on the card. I’m sure me and Stephen can tag along.;)
so how have I been not going to lie not so great not as happy as I should be the problem with anxiety is it takes over you and you have no control. I wake up and analyse myself my life my friends . my relationship . I compare myself and my relationship to how it used to be and find faults that probably arnt even there. I start to over think i think Lorna will get bored of me or that I’m being annoying . I know this isn’t true but it as been eating at me. I woke u feeling horrible with a dizzy head that felt like I was having the hangover not lorna. I haven’t asked when will this will end though as I’ve come to realise it will never leave there will be new challenges new life obstacles and new things for my anxiety to twist and attack me with but with great friends and family I’m going to battle till my last breath to try keep this anxiety at bay I’m sick of it stopping me from going out and cancelling plans. I’m ready
I’m back bitches. stronger and better.
bye my lovely’s stay strong. Edinburgh girl aka Suzanne